Attention Men!

So, I see a lot of guys talking about how pestering,  nagging, cribbing, bugging and irritating their girl friends are. They even say, 'things were so good when we were friends'. But they never really try to think what made them change. Guys, have you ever given a thought on why these ladies are so stereotypical when it comes to relationships or commitments? I know, you guys have a lot of reasons like 'she was never like that/i had made things clear in the beginning itself/ she was ok with everything/ she's not giving me space/ she's very possessive/ she doesn't understand/  she tend to intrude in everything' blah blah blah! But here are the things you should know about women in general before taking the next step.

• We, women, are 'women' coz you men are always 'men'! 
• We never really expect too much, we expect you to give us what you used to, initially, be it time, money or anything, coz you have already proved that you can deliver them and there's no excuse from not giving them later. 
• We don't understand because you don't tell us anything. 
• We tend to panic when you  are in trouble, not coz we aren't strong enough, but we love you and care for you.
• We wouldn't mind if you hang out with other gals until you have a 'past' of  dating multiple gals or we having a past of being with someone like that.
• We appreciate you being truthful, which includes loyalty too.  
• We are possessive coz we know you better and how inclined you are to hotness. 
• We don't mind you spending time with your friends, office, cricket or football until you spend equal time with us.
• We become pestering not because we love to do that, but instead, we love you and we want you to be the one we always knew.
• We ask for your passwords, we check your phone sometimes,we read through your messages. It's obvious we would dig into your past, so you should make sure that things are so normal that nothing would make an awkward moment between us.
• If we hate a friend of yours, preferably female, do anything and everything to make us like them. Don't  ask us how to, just do it on your own.
• We prefer meeting up and talking to you over phone for hours. We make time and  can  sacrifice anything and everything for that, so, your 'impossible' and 'no time for all that' doesn't really register.
• If we can think about you 24/7, we expect you to do the same too, but if that's not practical, tell us, we might try to understand.
• There's nothing in the world that we don't understand unless it is conveyed the right way and in the right tone. 
• When we ask something, we expect a straight reply, mostly 'yes' or 'no' right then, not beating around the bush or 'we will talk about it later'
• We don't mind you watching cricket or football until you are okay with us watching soaps or romantic movies sometimes.
• We would  love your friends and parents, until you do the same with ours.
• (Adults only) We don't have sex unless we are assured that we are the only one who you are having sex with you at that particular point.
• We become emotional quite a lot, coz  you are the only person to whom we show that side of ours. Learn to respect.
• We are generally insecure, either because of the previous relationship we had,  or we know how our male friends treat their GFs or how our female friends are treated by their BFs and we don't the same to happen with us (the wrong doings i mean)
• When we say we would do something, we never back out, until you change your mind
• We are generally confused souls, deal with it.
• We do have problems when you keep in touch with your ex, and  we never hide it. You know why your ex became an ex  and hence we don't expect them to be anywhere in your present or in your life to be precise.. 
• We think too much and imagine stuff that are never real, but that's how we are. We can't help it. 
• We do agree where we have a lot of  negatives, but you have them too, we tend to see your positives only and we expect you to do the same too.
• We love shopping, that shouldn't bother you much as long as you love cricket or football! 
• We can do anything for you, all we expect in return is a bit of your time, some love and care.

PS: Dedicated to someone once was very special ;-)

PPS: These are certain things guys never try to understand and I wish reading this throws some light, and if someone comes up with an 'Attention women' post as a counter, I would really  appreciate it and would be happy to know about how men think too and most importantly, that there are people who gets influenced by my posts ;) 

Cochin- You beauty, I'm so gonna miss you!

A romantic inclination towards someone - a hardcore one that is - makes you do possibly everything under the sun and you would even travel miles to start a new life or whatever. Well, GVM movies portray a guy flying to USA, but in real life, may be, from Trivandrum to Cochin can work. You would have a lot of hope, dreams and expectations until you are stuck with the reality - that reality though hard to accept would change your world upside down after the encounter. That's exactly what happened to me or may be something close to all that! A series of unexpected events through out an year and a half, had left me fall for this city more than I always did.

Apart from the usual making new friends, visiting new places, learning new things, the overall experience changed me bit by bit, which I still can't figure out whether it was for good or bad. Travelling alone, dealing with life alone, making friends and then their part in my life and my part in their life, heart breaks, night outs, second shows, long drives and rides, parties and after parties, birthdays and weddings, there were a lot to celebrate, or may be not. But the whole point is, we celebrated life :)

Falling in love with the same old person all over again, waste of time realisation, a newly found love which turned out to be quite another tragedy - that comprises the romantic side. Or in short, there was no romance at all, which is surprisingly not a new thing.

And what did I learn from life - a lot, again! The overall perspective about life changed over night literally. What we think is good may be bad to someone else, and right - wrong! There's in fact no good or bad, no right or wrong, no this or that. It's an individual's choice on how to live his/her life until he/she is hurting someone else. I think that's the most important thing I learnt and I would want to live by it through out.

The best part was indeed some amazing people I met who just made the roller coaster ride an easy one and worth the effort :-) not gonna name anyone as it's very cliche throughout my blog, nor am I gonna diplomatically say 'everyone was equally important'. There were indeed some for who I even vouch my life, and I guess they all know that I mean it when I say this.

 As the bizarre life comes to an end, I just have nothing but a lot of memories to carry along with me all through me life. No sorrys or thank yous because they are done and dealt with. Each day was a new experience and a new lesson, and that was the beauty.

 PS: Kahawa, Pai brothers and Ming's wok will be terribly missed more than anything or anyone. :'(

Musings of a single, 26 year old woman!

How would it feel when something which was always yours - the thing you've been pampering and considering your own for ages, the thing you would never wanna share, not even with your best buddy... that one thing you'd give your life for.... suddenly goes stolen. Like, you would never find it ever! THAT feeling is quite unexplainable !! Well, lil close to it is what I feel when AAAAALLLLLLL my friends get married! No, really! I might sound quite lame here, but the truth has always been bitter!

No matter how much we claim that friendship's not gonna change when someone else come into your life, there's no intruding and all that, it always come to one thing - close to THE END. Everything becomes so stereotypical. Your friend finds a guy or a gal, they start dating, then get married, you would be happy for them, but then, you know, you are slowly losing them.

Things get worse if the friend is from the opposite gender and when you are single. :/ You'd been spending half of your life with this one person, and suddenly he gets a partner to hang out with, to visit your favorite restaurants, his phone has a new number to  dial on, his bike now has a new  pillion passenger... You'd be there as his friend for life, but everything would have changed. You know they have moved on, 'coz they have a life to deal with, you know everything, but still that 'missing him' will remain, probably until you find a person, your love.... This might be in simple words can be called as 'being selfish', but then I think this is  quite a common issue mostly every friend would be facing!

Weddings, marriages and all that do ruin quite a lot good relations...  At the age of 26, and still being single, I wonder what all is in store! :/

Parents and girls - the bond!

There were times, I mean, not just a few times, but almost all through my life in fact, I'd thought my parents are against me. They don't love me and don't want me to live my life the way I want. I often used to ask them whether they need my life too to live, for themselves. I used to be very angry at them, for not sending me to join a fashion designing institute, but to an engineering college instead; irritated at them for not giving anything I want. And there were times when I used to HATE them for not being the kind of parents I want!!

But now, when I retrospect, I feel sorry for all the misconceptions I had. I feel guilty for being rude to them. When I look back and see the things they did for me - starting from the day I was born!

Though they wanted  their second child to be a boy, they didn't go for a foeticide or kill me once I was born, knowing that their wish didn't come true! They didn't ill treat me, instead grew me up like a boy. They gave me all the luxuries, send me to the best school.. Taught me cycling, and then to ride a bike, and drive a car.

They didn't get me married at the age or 18 or so, but instead let me study! They send me to an engineering college to give me the best of education, but I was the one who screwed it up. Though they weren't happy, they allowed me to choose the job I want, and move to the place I loved. They hardly asked me who my friends are, nor did they question my relationship with the umpteen male friends I've. They gave me the best medication whenever I fell ill, gave me the best food which is obvious ;) and got me almost everything I asked for.

I'm 26 now, but never did they force me get married to any Tom, Dick or Harry just because the society was asking them to. Never did they ask me what sort of life I spend here, whether I started smoking or boozing. Though they oppose at times, never have they forced me not to do something that I love.

And all these when I realize, I feel so guilty, for all the hatred I had, for all the mishaps, for all the torture. They had their own reasons and I had mine, and no one really bothered to understand each other and that's when things go wrong. Now, I learnt to understand my parents and hence I'm happier than how I used to be.   *touchwood*

I tell them almost everything I do, they may not like it but still they don't really attack on me. And probably, I believe there would be more females who would be thinking the same way as I used to, and I'd suggest them to think the way I did before they complain about their parents.

You always get to fix things you've broken, you always get a chance to know fellow human beings, use it wisely and be a better person than what you were yesterday! :-)

An open letter to 'relatives' across the world

Dear relatives,

It's been great to have you guys around to show the rest of the world the strength of our family... However, I would like to mention a few things people like me, always wanted to let you people know, on your 'moral policing' especially, though we never got a chance to. There would be many, who want to say these, so here you are! A few of those things we really wish you knew!

1. Engineering and medicine are not the only career options!
2. What to wear, what not to, how to style up etc are absolutely our discretion.
3. We don't want  to be compared with other's kids. If you dare,compare us with yours!
4. If we drop our course, we have better plans for our life - well that's what we believe, and we really want you to believe that too (in case you are so concerned about it)
5. Tattoo, body piercing were invented by our forefathers, so never every complain saying its a 'bigda hua new trend'
6. As long as you worship Gods who had 18,000 wives or used to smoke up or cheated around, you just can't question our moral side. 
7. Guys and girls can indeed be friends and share platonic relation, so stop injecting negative thoughts into their head.
8. If you are on our Facebook friends list, be grateful that we didn't ignore. And if we are posting stuff that you can view, that would mean we are not hiding anything.
9. Before judging us from our Facebook profile that your kid just showed you, do keep an eye on theirs!
10. Gals and guys sitting together doesn't make it obvious that they are sleeping together as well. 
11. Speeding a vehicle is not always rash driving. 
12. Our age and relationship status is nothing of your concern. Anyway, our parents think we are still kids, so do we!
13. Not everyone who's unmarried has physical/mental sickness, nor do they need a character check.
14. Not everyone working at Wipro, Infy, or Microsoft are happy.
15. We don't have guy friends/gal friends... we just have FRIENDS
16. We are not bothered about our friends' family background, nor do we want anyone else to investigate on it.
17. We are Not dating every opposite sex friend that we have. 
18. We have our parents and friends to match ourselves up with someone. You please take care of  your own business.
19. Not getting pregnant after 3 months of our marriage doesn't make us infertile!
20. Don't judge us as long as you haven't spend time with us.
21. We love our parents, we don't want your approval.
22. We don't need your consent nor opinion before taking any decision! 
23. We are not concerned about you life and we expect the same back.
24. We don't live to impress you  or your folks.

Arrghhh....  if I keep discussing about their concerns, I'll go nuts. So stopping  here as of now.

PS: This doesn't mean my relatives, all of them, are jobless... Well some of them are... others are awesome :D :D

PPS: Applicable for neighbours as well! 

FYI - Filthy Dogs!

Every woman in this entire planet is a 'slut' to someone or the other and that's a hard truth. Being a woman myself, I've learnt things the hard way.  One such lesson is that, you can  never shut the mouth of those dirty dogs wagging their tongue against you. They keep wagging until they find their next prey and some other dog will start doing that to you. It's more like a  circle of filthy dogs taking rounds to bark and through hell on you. And unfortunately, these filthy dogs are not always men; even women target their peers and you can call   it jealousy!

Their idea of 'slut' starts when they see you hanging out with men, different men, multiple men, they call you a 'slut'. Then you post your picture with a guy on your Facebook profile or Twitter account, only to let them re-confirm that whatever they had thought of is absolutely true.They are so ignorant to know that there's something called 'friendship' and men n women can share purely platonic relationships with each other.

No matter whatever you do, no matter however you behave, at some point, you'll be called a 'bitch'. If you are not friends with men, then you are secretive and is not 'good' inside, if you have many male friends, you are still not good! They expect you to live the way they want, without offending them and just listen to whatever they say! And if you think it's because you are single, nah! That's not the case! Even married/engaged women are targeted. And trust me, the things been said about them are even worse!

These It's quite obvious that I've taken the same crap too, for the crappy reasons they have, and the crappier mentality they possess. And for me, the way they think can't be changed, as that's how they are, or that's what they've seen in their family! The more you try to justify your side to anyone, the crappieryou are gonna get! And I wonder why majority of our people are so jobless!

So ladies, live the life the way you want, and don't effing give an eff to anyone around. IT'S YOUR LIFE, IT'S NOW OR NEVER, YOU AIN'T GONNA LIVE FOREVER! ;)

All that matters

She was standing half naked in front of the mirror, rubbing her left breast. That comparatively big, taste-like-ham and beautiful, as he says, breast has lost its charm, she thought. Discolored and disfigured, it has lost it all. She had always thought he loved her breasts more than herself, and that very thought irked her. Now that one of them is going to be removed, she feared, he would no longer be hers!

Breast cancer, as fierce  as it sounds, has been holding her tight for the past few days, and as doctor instructed, she had to undergo this surgery as early as possible. Knowing him for years, she knew he would never leave her, but all that she was afraid about was losing his love.

 "I would have wanted to die instead of living without his love", she sighed. 

Those breasts had been her secret pride as he always loved fondling them and made it his first choice to do  before making love to her. And now, will he ever do that? Will he ever look at her the way he always did? She couldn't think more!

While she was plunging into thoughts, he slowly came inside the room. She suddenly took a towel from the hanger and hid her breasts. She never did that before, but now, it was more like a reflex action. There was a perplexed look on his face as she did this. He came closer to her and slowly removed the towel from her chest. She stood there uncomfortable and with eyes wet.

 He knew, unlike other women, she wasn't afraid of death. And a surgery would just be a piece of cake. For a lady past her thirties, she's strong and matured enough to handle any tough situation. But may be this, he thought, would be bothering her a bit. Cancer is not a silly thing  and had to be taken care of and he could definitely figure out what she would be going through. 

He touched her cheeks, held her face up and looked into her eyes. She couldn't stop but cry. She hugged him tight and started crying like a  baby. He couldn't stand her cry either, but somehow gained courage and consoled her.

"My love, it's a minor surgery, and a couple of chemo. It's gonna be tough for both of us, but eventually, we would be happy once we face this. So please, stop worrying and gain some guts. You'll be alright"

"I know that", she said while weeping, "I'm prepared to face any agony, but living without you or your love would be hard for me more than anything"

"Whaaaa....tt?", he couldn't figure out what she was talking about. "Where am I going? What are you talking about?"

She wanted to tell him what was bothering her, but she didn't know how to put it. She walked past him, sat on the bed, looked down and told him, "I'm gonna lose one of my breasts; one of those you always loved to fondle, one of those you loved more than me... now that I've to live without it, I won't be the same like I used to be, things are definitely gonna change. I may not be able to give the pleasure you always got from me, or may be, you wouldn't want to touch me ever or something like that.. You'd slowly leave me, and I would be left alone forever"

Never in his dreams did he think, this would be the very thing bothering her. He couldn't really make out why she would think that way. He wondered how his girl could go to this extend and imagine such nonsense. He was shocked! He loved her, not her body or anything in particular and he believed she knew it!

"Why???", he shouted and walked past her. He couldn't utter another word. And she sat there, stunned. She realised, whatever she had thought was way too much. She didn't know what to say!

They both remained silent for a while. He, after sometime sat close to her touched on her shoulder and smiled at her. 

"Let's first survive the current situation and then think about the rest as it comes"

He then gently touched her right breast, smiled at her and said, "And for the breasts love that I've, I'm happy and content with this one"

He caressed it, smiled at her, and started kissing it like never before.

PS : Forgive if anything technical was mentioned wrong :)

Inspired from : P. Padmarajan's 'Shoorpanagha'

That bitch called LOVE

He no longer looked like the guy she knew. Those chubby cheeks aren't chubby anymore; the potbelly he had, is not visible. He looks fit, smart, amazingly charming and younger for a 30 year old except for the grey hair that started appearing round his hair and the goatee he possessed. For the person that she is who notices every single thing about him, these changes amazed her. Though she wondered how a person can change so much over an year's time,  these changes weren't actually 'changes' that anyone who just knew him would notice, and she wasn't someone who 'just knew'  him! Except for his physical appearance, and may be the love he had for her,  everything else remained intact. The charm, and the personality that he is, hasn't worn out, and she feared, she would fall for him all over again!

They have known each other for over 7 years and there was something about him that made her fall for him the moment they met! She had never thought that he's handsome or cute like the rest of the men she knew, but this guy had something worth tripping for. And may be, that something has made her want to meet him and  talk to him now after an year.

They both have moved on, literally. But for her, it was more of pretending to be moved on than it rather was!

They had now came to this unknown place to talk after ages, but he got involved in his daily  fitness training and she, as always, ended up watching him, than uttering a word. She realised, he has now become a fitness freak and may be that's to keep himself away from all the worries he had. She felt bad that she could never help him with his chaos, but instead added up to it, and that made them part like strangers! 

She was watching him without blinking wee bit until her eyes were filled. Watching him made her think, "Wasn't he the guy I always wanted to spend the rest of my life with? Don't i still want that? Will i ever be able to tell him what I feel?" 

She thought she would meet him, and  ask him whether they can be 'friends' again, but watching him this close made her realise that she can never do that; She still loves him and he's always more than a friend to her, and that bitter truth hurt her. She might never have expressed it to anyone, but the past one year without him was miserable for her. Deleting his pictures from her mobile phone or erasing his text messages and emails never helped her. Everything changed, but still the love she had for him didn't! 

He took an hour to wind up his training; he got freshened up and walked towards her. He sat next to her and started talking as if nothing happened ever between them. And she did what she always loved to do -  listen to him. He had indeed moved on a lot more than she did! and she's still there were they had left it!

She came to know that he has finally decided to get married, to someone else, of course. Good for him!  She told him even her parents have started looking out! Only if she hadn't made things tough for him with her insecurities and demands, life would have been easier for both of them and they didn't have to search for someone else to spend the rest of their lives with.

They got comfortable with each other all over again and shared a lot of things they haven't for the past one year, except for the things she wanted to tell him. For someone who didn't seem to have any feelings  for her, how would she say that she was sorry and wanted another chance? How would she tell him that she still loved him and wanted to be with him? She didn't mention anything and pretended as if she had moved on too.

After a while, they parted, for their surprise, with smiles on their faces! 

May be they would become friends again, or would never talk to each other. May be they would see again or would not meet at all. May be they would get married to each other or attend each other's wedding with someone else. And it all depended on how he wanted things to be, as her deeds had already made her lose the rights to take a decision on what they would be doing about 'their' future.

She got back to her world cursing  that bitch called LOVE who left her perplexed and made her look like a stupid, and insisted her to keep hope that someday he would call her back and everything would fall in place and may be the meeting they just had was a glimpse of what the future holds !

Relationships !

Its neither something no one's aware of nor a new thing that people change accordingly and that every relation is arranged according to everyone's convenience. Not every friend is a friend and a family, family. And if you are trying to make a family member a friend, or a friend your family, later at some point of time, you would realize, you were doing it wrong! 

It takes a lot of courage, substance and effort to be someone that you are, someone original, someone genuine and that would possibly be the only reason why you wouldn't fear to tell the society those things that come to your mind or talk without analyzing what should be said to whom. But if pleasing everyone is what you are looking at, then you have to compromise a lot on being original and that ain't you !!! And if that makes you lose certain relations that was just too dear to you and you alone, then never bother to look back or try to save it 'cos each effort you make is just a lot of time wasted!

Writers writers all around!!

It hasn't been long since I became a 'writer' or rather I started calling myself as one. It was more like someone turning a superstar overnight. Well, again from my perspective!  Joblessness and owning a blog was how it all started. And then it became the source for bread and butter and sometimes nutella or peanut butter... And overnight, yep, over another night, the self realisation of 'you are born to be a writer'.

So, when I started off, there were hardly anyone I knew who used to write, from whom I could take tips on. And later, when I started to gain some confidence and my scribbles were been appreciated by at least a few people, sh*t happened!

Firstly, certain people who were born only to criticize, making fun of you on whatever you write and giving you links to blogs which their gf/bf wrote which you find useless. And certain other people who think they rule the world, again criticizing you. And you end up thinking you should stop whatever you were doing. Well when they say you are a loser that you cannot take criticism, you fail to tell them there's something called constructive criticism and these people only know how to let down others and destruct someone!

Aargh! Sorry! Became emotional! Hmmmph!! Grudges down.. Back to topic.

Secondly, whoever you meet turns out to be a writer! I mean being in the same field, it's obvious that you meet such such people and you can't blame it when they all turn out to be so far better than what you are. But besides that, you still meet people who are writers!

The one you just met at a coffee shop is a writer... Your boss is a writer... That friend's friend is a writer. Your old friend who's busy with his MBA classes in a renowned college and another friend who works in a MNC are bloggers. Your junior from college who unlike you holds a degree, leaves it behind as he/she loves writing! What the heck!! So you mean to say you wont let me live in peace?

If you think this post is out of frustration or jealousy, I would never want to correct you because that's so obvious! I mean, there are people who claim themselves as writers but fail to do justice to that and you fear you might fall into that category -  a nightmare. Also, you know nothing else to do, let alone writing! Sigh! Seems like bread n peanut butter is gonna be a far away dream :-(

- A very jealous wanna-be writer