She was standing half naked in front of the mirror, rubbing her left breast. That comparatively big, taste-like-ham and beautiful, as he says, breast has lost its charm, she thought. Discolored and disfigured, it has lost it all. She had always thought he loved her breasts more than herself, and that very thought irked her. Now that one of them is going to be removed, she feared, he would no longer be hers!
He then gently touched her right breast, smiled at her and said, "And for the breasts love that I've, I'm happy and content with this one"
He caressed it, smiled at her, and started kissing it like never before.
PS : Forgive if anything technical was mentioned wrong :)
Breast cancer, as fierce as it sounds, has been holding her tight for the past few days, and as doctor instructed, she had to undergo this surgery as early as possible. Knowing him for years, she knew he would never leave her, but all that she was afraid about was losing his love.
"I would have wanted to die instead of living without his love", she sighed.
Those breasts had been her secret pride as he always loved fondling them and made it his first choice to do before making love to her. And now, will he ever do that? Will he ever look at her the way he always did? She couldn't think more!
While she was plunging into thoughts, he slowly came inside the room. She suddenly took a towel from the hanger and hid her breasts. She never did that before, but now, it was more like a reflex action. There was a perplexed look on his face as she did this. He came closer to her and slowly removed the towel from her chest. She stood there uncomfortable and with eyes wet.
He knew, unlike other women, she wasn't afraid of death. And a surgery would just be a piece of cake. For a lady past her thirties, she's strong and matured enough to handle any tough situation. But may be this, he thought, would be bothering her a bit. Cancer is not a silly thing and had to be taken care of and he could definitely figure out what she would be going through.
He touched her cheeks, held her face up and looked into her eyes. She couldn't stop but cry. She hugged him tight and started crying like a baby. He couldn't stand her cry either, but somehow gained courage and consoled her.
"My love, it's a minor surgery, and a couple of chemo. It's gonna be tough for both of us, but eventually, we would be happy once we face this. So please, stop worrying and gain some guts. You'll be alright"
"I know that", she said while weeping, "I'm prepared to face any agony, but living without you or your love would be hard for me more than anything"
"Whaaaa....tt?", he couldn't figure out what she was talking about. "Where am I going? What are you talking about?"
She wanted to tell him what was bothering her, but she didn't know how to put it. She walked past him, sat on the bed, looked down and told him, "I'm gonna lose one of my breasts; one of those you always loved to fondle, one of those you loved more than me... now that I've to live without it, I won't be the same like I used to be, things are definitely gonna change. I may not be able to give the pleasure you always got from me, or may be, you wouldn't want to touch me ever or something like that.. You'd slowly leave me, and I would be left alone forever"
Never in his dreams did he think, this would be the very thing bothering her. He couldn't really make out why she would think that way. He wondered how his girl could go to this extend and imagine such nonsense. He was shocked! He loved her, not her body or anything in particular and he believed she knew it!
"Why???", he shouted and walked past her. He couldn't utter another word. And she sat there, stunned. She realised, whatever she had thought was way too much. She didn't know what to say!
They both remained silent for a while. He, after sometime sat close to her touched on her shoulder and smiled at her.
"Let's first survive the current situation and then think about the rest as it comes"
He caressed it, smiled at her, and started kissing it like never before.
PS : Forgive if anything technical was mentioned wrong :)
Inspired from : P. Padmarajan's 'Shoorpanagha'
I believe you could have done better. Also, I think you haven't re-checked the grammar at some instances. It is good. But I would suggest you re-edit.
ReplyDeleteTaste like ham
ReplyDelete;)
Its too good to read...few lines have some mistakes but its not a matter while considering the overall view.
ReplyDeletefc
I am a breast cancer patient, and I find it quite offensive :) Not sure if you are smart enough to even know as much or was the intention actually that...and apologies accepted , most of the technicalities are wrong. Next time you write something this sensitive make sure you are better researched :) Anyway thanks for picking this topic but yeah no thanks for making it a mess :)
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteThanx for stopping by! If you could mention where exactly it's been wrong it would be great, coz i don't really think there's much of technicality explained but instead thoughts n emotions are....
How many breast cancer patients did you talk to before making this post. I don't think any one of us have had such emotions and thoughts..I run a support group for breast cancer patients(many of whom felt offended reading this material) we have being sessions all over the country for sometime now. One of our patrons from Cochin(who actually said personally knows you and to protect their identity is why I am anonymous though I feel I should be using my profile) came across this and brought it to my notice citing about the misconceptions people have about breast cancer and many other diseases. As the recent trend is many neo-writers have been using uninformed and misguiding articles about terminal diseases for the sake of hits for the blog-I don't mean to question your ingenuity-But please make it a point when such sensitive topics are being discussed please do more research and if you do a little research(don't go too far-visit the cancer ward of a local hospital-I would suggest RCC,Trivandrum and MCC , Talassery) to know what your mistakes are.
ReplyDeleteIf your sweet friend who actually suggested me this read had not suggested otherwise I would have assumed you are one of those male writers writing under a female pseudonym may be because your writing is extensively masculine and lacking a certain feminine sophistication..that's not a bad thing..you do have a couple of interesting reads in the blog..Thank you for the reply I would have expected(so suggested your friend) that you wouldn't bother to reply or may be even delete my post.
Firstly, I wanna say, I wud never apologise for what's been written as I believe it's completely my imagination which noone has any right to question about. Sorry if i am being rude here, i just want to make myself clear, not that i dont respect ru feelings. May be, if i am one of them, these thoughts would definitely cross my mind and that's what's been portrayed here no matter what someone else think about it. I should have known this is so sensitive and that people would read or get offended, coz may b, i dont look for blog hits. I write coz i want to write.
ReplyDeleteAnyway thank you for pointing out things which i had never realised and surely next tym, if at all i am writing something quite sensitive like this i ll make sure i research on the topic a lot more before getting into it. Was reading P. padmarajan's shoorpanagha, n i imagined myself on the place of the protogonist and hence this. Which i would never apologise for, as i mentioned earlier. I may can react to a situation the way i want precisely than how others would... not offending you, if that's what you get through this :)
Ps: ur frnd or my frnd, whoever that be, clearly doesnt know anything about me, and i am NOT at all offended when you questioned my identity! :-)
Cheers!!!
From my experience with breast cancer patients not being able to be their spouse's sex toy wasn't the least of their concerns when they were diagnosed with the disease, that is if you haven't already understood what I have been trying to tell you :) Of course are free to write whatever you want your blog your rules , my mistake I tried convince you. But as a writer you lose a lot of respect among the well read when you try to things which does not seem the least bit real and of course original-not judging. Good talking to you , feel free to reply-of course your blog do as you wish reply or not reply- but this would be my last post :) And I never questioned your identity , that was a critique about your writing style, not a doubt about your gender .
ReplyDeletePS: From your response and comprehension of my post I think you are actually very much like your friend had explained . And sorry if I am being rude here, a skeptic would say if the intention wasn't getting hits then why the page views counter and the the visitor tracking widget, but then I am not a skeptic and that is definitely not my concern.
I understood what exactly your point was and that's why i said these would be something i myt b thinking... N that my imagination cannot be limted to reality... I didnt mean to say that this is my blog and i ll write whatever i want :-) u concluded it that way which absolutely is not my problem, may be u have judged me through whoever and hence take things the way that personality u ve considered myself to be would say ;)
ReplyDeleteSince u've asked, the page hit counter is a part of the background template i ve installed... :) and the other one was installed ages back when i was new to blogging! :-)
Thank you once again pointing put something i had never noticed. Will be careful next time :-)