Trust once broken...

I know this post is gonna be something very serious,emotional,crappy n pathetic... But still cant really help  myself from posting it.

Trust like people say, is more like a vase. Once broken, cannot be fixed. But then, you still take umpteen chances hoping that someone would come across who would catch that vase and help it from falling down n break into pieces.

You'd often be proved wrong. you might come across someone who'd be your "best friend", very protective, who cares alot and falls for you making you fall  for him/her, and once you get serious in that relationship you'd realise that the person was faking everything, eventually leaving you with a broken heart.

Or you might meet someone who again will be protective, cares a lot, will always be there, promises not to leave whatever the situation be and gives you false hopes... and  when you start throwing your tantrums which's ultimately the result of the recent heart break, they'd leave proving your hopes were wrong. you have that broken trust grinning at you here too..

Or you'd meet someone who listens to all your sorrows n miseries and changes all of a sudden when they find some chic.. now you'd no more be important nor your sorrows. Again that grin flashed by the broken trust.... Or there would be someone who would make you feel so special, keep saying it, and all those PDA's from the other side make you feel that they're true, but disappears once they find someone new or proves you wrong one fine day... you'd be their best friend, only when you are around, and when you are not, you are one big timee pain in the ass...  you'd realise they were using you for no good  reason. *Again that grin !*

And finally someone who'd come to your life, tell you, you are that person they were looking  for, but the very next day, everything changes, and  the day after they disappear....

All these cases  prove that  you are a fool to believe them... If your trust was broken once, dont taake chances... no one's worth it.. and infact everyone who comes up with those cheesy, "you are special", "i'll be there for you always" taglines are not worthy to be trusted.  Human beings as a whole suck big time, so choose dogs.. they are better anyday!

The unfavorable luck !!

Rakesh Anand Photography

Sometimes words are not enough to express how you'd feel seeing someone else's life.. We think we are the ones with all those problems which doesnt really have a solution, and  that there's no point living. But then, when we look around and take the pain to know what others' life is all about, we realise that we are blessed, as the issues that we were cribbing about is nothing compared to theirs. I've been there once, those days when I was craving to be a film maker, and my friends who had dreamt about the same was a step or two ahead and I'd reached no where, made me feel like a loser. That was when I met this person who made me realise so many things.

That was a usual day, I was out there on the streets of Kochi, with my new companion, my camera, clicking everything that satisfied my soul. My first step to progress - observing and clicking. Nothing really reminded me, and I was happy.  I was walking down the streets, stopping here and there, clicking all that worth it and my friends accompanying me as always. i stopped somewhere, focused on clicking something and suddenly someone patted on my shoulder. Losing my concentration, I turned around with an annoyed expression. I saw a man, almost of my grandfather's age, who looked tired and lost, standing right beside. I gave him the irritated " what??" look.

He told me, "Hello, I  know I'm disturbing you, but why I called for you is that, I need to go to Kaloor and I've got no single penny to catch the bus. I'm pretty tired to walk all the way down to that place. It would have been great if you could help me. I need just 6 rupees".

 I was wondering what's it all about, he didnt look like a beggar in any angle, but what he just did was nothing less than that. But as usual, my pocket was empty. But something, my inner conscience may  be, told me i should help him.  I asked my friend to give him 10 rupees and as soon as my friend did, that man fell  right down to his feet!

We all  were shocked.

I suddenly pulled him back, and asked him not to do this with anyone,ever. He'd be around thrice my  age,and doing something like this would only embarass me. He started talking, "Do you know one thing kid? When you are in trouble, whoever takes the pain to help you is your GOD. And showing gratitude is not a crime."

"But not this way.."

I paused... "can I click a  picture of yours"? He was okay with it and i clicked.

What aperture value did you set while capturing this frame?

I was stunned!

f1.8. it's getting dark  so i thought... before  i  could complete it he interrupted.

You kids would not understand my relationship with camera. which one are you using?

Canon 5 D.

"Hmmm....Well, i hardly know anything about these digital cameras. My world was all about Rolleiflex,Hasselblad and leica".

He then talked about the Arri Camera family its nomenclature, Lenses without pausing.

I could see a spark in his eyes  while explaining this, and my surprise had no boundaries.

"Uncle, you know a lot about cameras. That too about things we are ignorant about.. what are you?"

That spark disappeared all  of a sudden and he went mum. After a while i told us  his story.

And it goes like this. Mr. V.R. Shekhar, that's his name. He once was a screenwriter in the malayalam movie  industry and used to assist maestros Padmarajan n Bharathan - the two names that would bring goosebumps to any movie maniac.

Are we thinking about the same thing? I guess, yes! assistant to master minds and he's literally begging on the streets? That's were luck comes in.

Talent is not always the only thing that decides someone's fate. Its all about luck sometimes. No matter how talented you are, or how much  you've worked to achieve something,  if luck doesnt favor you, you are done!

An accident changed his whole life and fate. He got half paralysed and he had to quit the industry and the only job that he knew. His wife passed away years back and the only son he  has got, the only hope he had, a guy whose around 26 years of age doesnt even give a damn  about his own father. Has he ever realised, the person he trashed, if at all  had luck by his side, might have made him proud? But unfortunately that father's luck was on the wrong side and hence he had to beg to get going.

He left to his destination and we to ours. But those moments were captured inside my memory and i couldnt really get over it.

Unlike people who we call "beggars", who had made it a career, who would give you a tough look which  would say, "i can give you tons like this back" when you give them a 10 rupee note... this person was actually begging 'cause he was helpless.

If that one accident hadnt  happened, he might have been one of those directors I'd have been looking forward to. But fate had something else in store and he had to beg to make his living! The minutes i spent with him, the experiences he shared and his story gave me thousand lessons. You are all alone in this world and will always be. You would never know what's in store for you. Just do your part, expect nothing  and keep moving. If you are destined to be successful, you'll be. If not,  you are unlucky!

And that moment brought a smile on my face, thinking how lucky I'm! I'm perfectly fit, I've talent, I've got time..... All i gotta do is do my part perfect, rest is upto my luck! And whatever it be, am okay with it...

I started walking, the nature called me to click its  beauty and  portray it as the most beautiful thing on earth.

Some midnight cribbing

Sometimes all you need is someone who could listen to all your cribbing and whining, share the pinch  of happiness and bucket full  of sorrows and still wouldn't complain or call you pain in the ass... and the search would make you choose wrong people to share it with and everyone you give that task to would make you believe that you are actually  a big time pain in the ass... they'd all treat you the same way, make fun of you and show their sarcasm. Hardly would they know that, of all the friends that you've, a ton of them, you chose this particular person as the listener when you play the listener part in others' life. That moment actually gives you uncontrollable pain as you would feel like you are alone forever! And even if someone offer a hand to share that mess you've been going through, be it null in real but a bulk for you, you'd deny to accept it as you  are afraid you'll be insulted all over again.

This particular forever alone tag keeps pricking you and you'd be like "why me, always?" but still you'know, you've gone through crap stinkier than this and had gotten over it,  you were alive even before meeting that particular person whom you had dared to share your life with, and that would mean you can still live without this person in particular though there will be a scar left which would rather be helpful for future reference.

And as you keep whining that you are all alone, someone enters to break the whole silence, and to your surprise you'll not be able to take that change, You'd  realise, you've already started loving this loneliness which to you is now solitude.. for loneliness and solitude are two terms with entirely different meaning. Loneliness is something which  others imposed on you and solitude is what you choose. Loneliness suffocates you while solitude is bliss.. And when someone tries to take you out from that solitude you'd even start hating that person.

In short, Loneliness & solitude are two different aspects, where the former screws your happiness and the later gives you peace of mind !!  And that peace of mind is something you would not wanna lose until you find something or someone worth tripping for ;)

Another open letter, this time for gals :D

Well, gals do make me wonder too.. there are certain things gals dont really realise:

• When a guy says busy, he's actually busy.
• When he doesn't pick your call, that would  mean he didnt really see it coming, doesnt mean he's avoiding you or on the extreme, he's dead.
• Thinking  too much  would not bring any joy... 
• If one guy made a mistake or rather cheated on you, doesn't really mean that every guy out there would do the same.
• If you are not sure about how the relation's gonna turn out, why wasting his time?
• If he didnt wish you on your b'day/anniversary, that would mean there are million other things running inside his head...
• When he says he wants to be alone, he actually wants to. Stop irritating him.
• Raj might fly down to India from London for Simran, Surya might get a visiting visa to woo Meghna, Karthik might travel all the way down to Kerala to convince Jessie, but they are all in movies for heaven sake!
• When he says you are irritating him, he means it, so stop doing that!
• Dont expect a guy to be perfect, he cannot be.
• When he says he'll call you,  hell do that.. stop calling him every now and then.
• He cannot be sweet to you,  always...
• Your ex is an  ex... he has got nothing to do with your present.
• He cant kill his friends just coz you want  him to be with you always.
• You can be possessive,  but stop eating his head.
• There's more to life than just love and romance (Yeah, resembles FWD ka tagline :P) 
• He said he loves kids, that doesnt mean that he wants to get married right away and have kids!
• Inviting you to his place,  not always mean  that his intentions arent clear.
• Even he's got expectations.
• Stop making him feel that "ban gaya kuttha"
• Give him a break, let him breathe!
• If he's an a**hole, what are you then?

PS: Aaah, i know what you wanna tell me.. Moron, this is my set of self realization, so dont dare to question me :P

PPS : Since am not ready for an argument, here it is for you gals  to  be  happy :D  ;)

http://beingdevi.blogspot.in/2012/03/open-letter-to-guys-out-there.html

An open letter to the guys out there

To all the guys out there,

You always make me wonder when you say something n do something else.

• You would protect your mother and sister, kick the butt of the guys flirting with your gal, and you.. you keep flirting with other gals though you've one booked all for yourself.
• You call a gal "feminist" when she tries to protect herself and the whole womanhood the best way she can. 
• You would say, you are free to anything, you give gals their space, but if she dare ot usse F word, oh man! that's the end of the world.
• You flirt with umpteen gals, add trillion strangers via Facebook, and if a gal does that, she's a slut!
• You drink, you smoke, but if a gal does the same, you question her morals.
• You can say whatever you want anywhere you want, but gals cannot! 

All these in general is what you call chauvinism.

• You want your gal to pick your call whenever you wanna talk, but if she calls you whenever she wants, she's irritating you.
• You can be on call-waiting even in the middle of the night, but hers can't be.
• You hate it when a guy asks for dowry in terms of marrying your sister, but you can ask for crores, in your case.
• You can be friends with n number of gals, for its just friendship, but your gal cannot have a guy friend!
• You like gals who are bubbly, outgoing, fun loving, tom boyish, but when it comes to marriage, you want someone who's silent, obedient and all that.
• You would love to marry a virgin, but, the more "experienced" you are the awesomest its gonna be.
• Your circumstances would stop you from marrying her, but if her parents say "No" and she backs out she's one hell of a bitch!
• When you want her to listen, she should, when she wants you to do the same, she's trying to dominate you.
• When she cries, that would mean she's actually sad... respect it.
• When she wants to talk, listen,.. atleast act as if you r.
• If you want to be with someone else, just let her know. She doesnt have sixth sense, nor would she like it when you do two/three/four timings.
• Sex and making love has got different meanings in her dictionary. respect it.
• Gals getting molested depends on the way they dress up, not coz you are perverted. 
• Every gal is not like your ex.
• ATTITUDE is something copyrighted to the male society.
• You can argue, even without knowing the truth, but she can't..
• Freedom of expression, is again something copyrighted to you.
• You dont really care about looks, only "character" matters, but look at your GF, she's one pretty doll! 
• If you are not ready to be in a relationship, why the heck are you giving her false hopes?
• If she can remember all the important dates even though she's busy just like you, why cant you do the same?
• Dont expect her to be the gal of your dreams, she's not perfect, just like you.
• She spends half of her time thinking about you, the least you can do is acknowledge it.
• If you really find her irritating, just ask her to leave rather than avoiding her. 
• She's emotional, way  too infact. but have you realised it's just to you and not to others?
• If she's a bitch, what should we call you then?

PS : Not a general perception. There are guys who actually respect gals. Cheers to them :)

PPS : Pun intended. But still if it offended you, i dont really give a damn! :D

PPPS : Since am not ready  for an argument,  here it is, for you guys to be happy ;)

http://beingdevi.blogspot.in/2012/03/another-open-letter-this-time-for-gals.html