Why is Jiah Khan still the talk of the town?

More than a week since she passed away, Jiah Khan still fills in the newspaper columns and  now here boyfriend too, I would want to take her case as an example for why one has to live. She should be considered a closed chapter I agree, but discussing about it can help people who are blinded in love is what I believe. We all go through this phase where we are blinded by that notion called 'love' where we tend to do anything, live and die for one person who might turn out to be the wrong choice through course of time. 

But then, at one point we need to realise, life is far more than the fantasies and fairy tales and B-town movies, life doesn't deserve to be ill treated, and once that's been realised, one learn to LIVE and respect life. One's life shouldn't revolve around someone else, we have lived before that one person and should learn to live without at some point however hard it be - that's the ultimate point.

"We all fall for the wrong guy/girl at some point in our life — some more wrong than others — but most of us find a way to fall right out. Romance is perhaps the most dangerous delusion, especially for young girls who are raised on a steady diet of fairytales, Bollywood movies and romance novels that valourise the all-consuming love affair, teach girls to hold out for Mr Right, wait for their 'one true love.' But in real life, Prince Charming often turns out to be the villain, or at least an uncommitted cad. And greater a young girl’s need for grand passion, the more likely she is to attract a parade of Mr Wrongs who exploit that yearning. Women who live to love as opposed to love to live are doomed to unhappiness." (Copied) And that's one major lesson for life.

Friends, family, love, education, knowledge, books, movies and society - everything does make an impact on a person, agree, but I would say, that's not the ultimate reason for why you are what you are. No one else can control your thought process or decisions, but yourself. If I decide to do something, how would that be the result of what the society or family had fed me? Being a human, being an individual, don't I have the sense or logic or reasonable thinking process to choose between right and wrong? Of course, right and wrong are concepts and it varies from person to person, but living your life is the right thing to do, not killing oneself and that's one universal fact. In Jiah's case,  what I don't understand is, if the mother and her family knew about this guy and have seen him torturing her, then why didnt they take the case to the police or take necessary actions, instead of blaming the guy or his father, for that matter! Wonder who has to be blamed here!

Girls often get carried away by false hopes and faked or sometimes unrequited love, being a girl I can say it better.  But does that always mean the guy has to be blamed? From my personal experience, I can say, I've gone both - how fake love affected me and how torturing I was in an unrequited love scene! 

 When a girl acts irrational and insane because she never got back at least a portion of the love she gave, no one really stops to listen to what the guy has to say. He might have tried, but not as much as she expected; he might have been practical unlike her. Girls generally act dumb when blinded in love, play the insecure, possessive, sensitive, emotional, bugging kinds, making the guy go nuts and vulnerable leading him to call it off. I am not saying this is what happens always, but this is one of those cases. Girls in love can mostly be the most dangerous and guys tend to escape from what's been happening to him... May be, she might have led him behave like 'this does not matter to me any longer' or may be he's the one who is actually wrong. But without knowing what's actually happened, no one can blame him for whatever he has done. (been there done that :D)

Take this is an experienced person talking, that love is not all. Treat it as a part of life, not a reason to live. One need love to survive, true that, and that love doesn't generally mean romantic; it can be what you share with parents, siblings or friends... Killing oneself is never a solution no matter what one is going through. And the day one accepts it and decide to live the life with no delusion that one need romance to survive, life turns out to be the best thing that can ever happen.

Lastly, killing oneself doesn't prove how much you love someone. If you really love someone, you shouldn't do anything that would affect him all through his life... If you consider it as  revenge, then again, the best revenge is to LIVE better and show him that you are fine without him!

With all respects to Jiah Khan, and as I am no one to say what she did was right or wrong, I find her case as an eye opener to most of us out here, and learn from what she has gone through, because learning from others' experience is better than going through the same to learn; may her soul rest in peace!

Attention Men!

So, I see a lot of guys talking about how pestering,  nagging, cribbing, bugging and irritating their girl friends are. They even say, 'things were so good when we were friends'. But they never really try to think what made them change. Guys, have you ever given a thought on why these ladies are so stereotypical when it comes to relationships or commitments? I know, you guys have a lot of reasons like 'she was never like that/i had made things clear in the beginning itself/ she was ok with everything/ she's not giving me space/ she's very possessive/ she doesn't understand/  she tend to intrude in everything' blah blah blah! But here are the things you should know about women in general before taking the next step.

• We, women, are 'women' coz you men are always 'men'! 
• We never really expect too much, we expect you to give us what you used to, initially, be it time, money or anything, coz you have already proved that you can deliver them and there's no excuse from not giving them later. 
• We don't understand because you don't tell us anything. 
• We tend to panic when you  are in trouble, not coz we aren't strong enough, but we love you and care for you.
• We wouldn't mind if you hang out with other gals until you have a 'past' of  dating multiple gals or we having a past of being with someone like that.
• We appreciate you being truthful, which includes loyalty too.  
• We are possessive coz we know you better and how inclined you are to hotness. 
• We don't mind you spending time with your friends, office, cricket or football until you spend equal time with us.
• We become pestering not because we love to do that, but instead, we love you and we want you to be the one we always knew.
• We ask for your passwords, we check your phone sometimes,we read through your messages. It's obvious we would dig into your past, so you should make sure that things are so normal that nothing would make an awkward moment between us.
• If we hate a friend of yours, preferably female, do anything and everything to make us like them. Don't  ask us how to, just do it on your own.
• We prefer meeting up and talking to you over phone for hours. We make time and  can  sacrifice anything and everything for that, so, your 'impossible' and 'no time for all that' doesn't really register.
• If we can think about you 24/7, we expect you to do the same too, but if that's not practical, tell us, we might try to understand.
• There's nothing in the world that we don't understand unless it is conveyed the right way and in the right tone. 
• When we ask something, we expect a straight reply, mostly 'yes' or 'no' right then, not beating around the bush or 'we will talk about it later'
• We don't mind you watching cricket or football until you are okay with us watching soaps or romantic movies sometimes.
• We would  love your friends and parents, until you do the same with ours.
• (Adults only) We don't have sex unless we are assured that we are the only one who you are having sex with you at that particular point.
• We become emotional quite a lot, coz  you are the only person to whom we show that side of ours. Learn to respect.
• We are generally insecure, either because of the previous relationship we had,  or we know how our male friends treat their GFs or how our female friends are treated by their BFs and we don't the same to happen with us (the wrong doings i mean)
• When we say we would do something, we never back out, until you change your mind
• We are generally confused souls, deal with it.
• We do have problems when you keep in touch with your ex, and  we never hide it. You know why your ex became an ex  and hence we don't expect them to be anywhere in your present or in your life to be precise.. 
• We think too much and imagine stuff that are never real, but that's how we are. We can't help it. 
• We do agree where we have a lot of  negatives, but you have them too, we tend to see your positives only and we expect you to do the same too.
• We love shopping, that shouldn't bother you much as long as you love cricket or football! 
• We can do anything for you, all we expect in return is a bit of your time, some love and care.

PS: Dedicated to someone once was very special ;-)

PPS: These are certain things guys never try to understand and I wish reading this throws some light, and if someone comes up with an 'Attention women' post as a counter, I would really  appreciate it and would be happy to know about how men think too and most importantly, that there are people who gets influenced by my posts ;) 

Cochin- You beauty, I'm so gonna miss you!

A romantic inclination towards someone - a hardcore one that is - makes you do possibly everything under the sun and you would even travel miles to start a new life or whatever. Well, GVM movies portray a guy flying to USA, but in real life, may be, from Trivandrum to Cochin can work. You would have a lot of hope, dreams and expectations until you are stuck with the reality - that reality though hard to accept would change your world upside down after the encounter. That's exactly what happened to me or may be something close to all that! A series of unexpected events through out an year and a half, had left me fall for this city more than I always did.

Apart from the usual making new friends, visiting new places, learning new things, the overall experience changed me bit by bit, which I still can't figure out whether it was for good or bad. Travelling alone, dealing with life alone, making friends and then their part in my life and my part in their life, heart breaks, night outs, second shows, long drives and rides, parties and after parties, birthdays and weddings, there were a lot to celebrate, or may be not. But the whole point is, we celebrated life :)

Falling in love with the same old person all over again, waste of time realisation, a newly found love which turned out to be quite another tragedy - that comprises the romantic side. Or in short, there was no romance at all, which is surprisingly not a new thing.

And what did I learn from life - a lot, again! The overall perspective about life changed over night literally. What we think is good may be bad to someone else, and right - wrong! There's in fact no good or bad, no right or wrong, no this or that. It's an individual's choice on how to live his/her life until he/she is hurting someone else. I think that's the most important thing I learnt and I would want to live by it through out.

The best part was indeed some amazing people I met who just made the roller coaster ride an easy one and worth the effort :-) not gonna name anyone as it's very cliche throughout my blog, nor am I gonna diplomatically say 'everyone was equally important'. There were indeed some for who I even vouch my life, and I guess they all know that I mean it when I say this.

 As the bizarre life comes to an end, I just have nothing but a lot of memories to carry along with me all through me life. No sorrys or thank yous because they are done and dealt with. Each day was a new experience and a new lesson, and that was the beauty.

 PS: Kahawa, Pai brothers and Ming's wok will be terribly missed more than anything or anyone. :'(