Have you been there?

Have you been there?

Where you fall in love with someone as deeply as you could, believe that you will never fall for another person again, and then learn that may be that's possible too, but never as much as you loved this one person, fail miserably to stop thinking how beautiful it would be when you two get together, realize that it will never happen, fall for that same person again... over and over again... when you actually want to fall out of it... try again to be out of it and then learn to move on hiding the love somewhere deep inside, for your own good.... and then, during an unexpected moment, you meet a  random someone who makes you fall head over heels for him just like how it was earlier, drives you crazy and makes you fall in love all over again and you witness the same feelings repeating by itself... history repeating itself...

Have you been there?

If yes, post here the tips that you think will work. A good friend is in need.

Your's truly.

The Purpose of Life!

Many a time you fail to figure out the purpose of your life. It may not always be making money, or travelling around, or eating good food or living with parents or meeting as many people as possible. Something else, which you fail to give a thought on. You live with the flow, follow the majority and live your life the way others want. You study, but never learn. You find a job that satisfies the world's requirements. You get married at the 'right' age. You have kids 'before its too late'. And one day you die without knowing why you lived all those years. You might die happy, and you think that possibly be the purpose of your life, but if at all given a thought, you would have found something extraordinary as the purpose to have been alive.

Some go against the flow; they become what the world wouldn't want them to be. They would be the most ridiculed ones; the ones who take all the pain and tantrums from every nook and corner just because they want to pursue a dream and find a purpose to be alive. And one day they become successful and the rest of the world follow their path proclaiming that's the right thing to do. And the value for that 'purpose' gets devalued.

The world has a lot more to explore and the intelligence man possesses if used wisely can bring up way better things than what we have now. If only we knew that the path every Tom, Dick and Harry choose is not always the right thing to do; there's something called 'passion' and that has to be treated well; each one of us would have had a better reason to smile than just sit, watch, appreciate and idolize one or two who have actually done it with their lives. Its good to try, but to try for what's worth takes a lot of courage!

Women are NOT safe in India, But why?

Rape, molesting and human trafficking have now become a common thing as well as a term that has been discussed quite often. People come up with various reasons on why women get raped or molested. And the major reason being ‘men’, of course! But, I would want to see it from another perspective and through that, I would say, the reason behind all these mishaps are ‘women’ on first place. Now, you might be pointing fingers at me asking how, being a woman, can I say that! Well, you have not yet gotten the whole perspective!

Women travelling alone during odd hours, their skimpy clothing, boozing, or hanging out with men are NOT my reasons. I always believe that, like men, women also should have their freedom and power to take decisions. Now, I will tell you why I said women cause rape. Well it is simple. Let’s consider this scenario. A girl got raped at some part of the country. We all will feel bad for her, and will panic too, and then, turn towards the women in our house and neighborhood. The next thing we would do is PREACH showing this as an example on why women are NOT supposed to be alone or independent on first place.

Women would get the shock of their lives and would pledge that they won’t let themselves go through the same thing as the ‘victim’ did. No one wants to be victimized you see! But then, what about those who have no other choice but go out during odd times to earn their bread and butter? They would be asked to sit at home?

What’s been happening is that, once news on rape gets widespread, women take precaution- not to step out of their house. And the ones who do, get targeted and this would become a trend. Every woman would gradually sit at home, no child will be allowed to go to school; girls will be getting married at a tender age and we would eventually go back to the era where women would be used as tools for man’s pleasure and for doing household chores. Only because we are AFRAID; afraid of getting raped! Because men won’t change, so women better handle it this way. And we have been fighting for ages for equality!

I would say nothing should stop us, women. We should rather gain courage and fight this out, together. Don’t stop yourself from stepping out of your houses; get yourself free from all the thoughts and the morons around. Independence is what we have been craving for, after all! As the number of women in the streets increase, no matter what time of the day it is,things would be safer,  is what I feel! Don’t panic when something goes wrong, have the courage to react.

Both men and women, instead of preaching your daughters, sisters, wives and daughter in laws to sit at home, teach them to REACT. Tell them that the precaution to save is NOT closing themselves up or not wearing something they are comfortable in. Teach them defensive methods; make them stronger. Tell them that they don’t belong to any weaker section; they are strong too in their own ways.

And women, you can learn from others mistakes, but backing out is NOT a remedy. Fight it out. Because, no one has the authority over you. The more you panic, worse things will be.You don’t have to ask for independence from anyone, you are born free. Get rid of your fear, and go out whenever you want. You are no one's slave. Its ok to take chances. Practice the things mentioned above and fly high!

Beauty - Lies in the eyes of who?

I was grown up watching movies and reading stories where boys & gals, men & women fall in love with each other, get married and live happily ever after. Where the girl might be extremely pretty, amazingly gorgeous and sometimes too hot to handle. And the guy, might be fat/short/dark/handicapped or sometimes all of them. He would still be so charming for the smokin' hot gal to fall for. I used to fancy all these when a kid and used to love the fact that gals not always fancy only men with six packs or who are super hot. Now I wonder why this has to happen. Why don't men fell for women who are dark or not even close to pretty and I've been seeking answers for this behavior!

Does that mean ONLY women follow 'beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder' format and men's eyes only see external beauty? Or is it that women who are not beautiful shouldn't be loved at all? Most of the male actors when looked closely wouldn't even have enough physical strength to fight with a street dog, but they would be fighting with 20 villains who would be double his height and weight, save the girl and walk off like nothing happened. And that super hot chick would be impressed and fancying him thereafter. She would be seen stalking him, begging him to fall in love and finally gets the guy! What bullshit!

I am not saying there are no female actors who are not 'pretty' by looks, but aren't they used only for humor? There are exceptions, like an 'Ugly Betty' but she's UGLY, or a Jassie who was accepted by her love when she had a complete make over.... screw you! I don't understand their logic at all. If for men looking physically endearing is not important, then why is it important when it comes to the female counterpart? Agree trends are being changing, everyone wants six packed super hot men now, but aren't the other category still ruling the charts? Why haven't anyone ever tried making a handsome guy fall for a not-so-good-looking girl not out of sympathy but out of true love at least once?

Another thing is about women proposing men. There would be this cute girl who the male lead loves, and a super hot woman who wants the same guy, who tries to woo him because she is madly in love with him, but she gets rejected only because he is in love with another girl. At the same time, even if the girl is in love with another guy, when the hero acts crazy for her, she falls for him, every single time. Why are these film makers so much interested in showing that women are bitches, ALWAYS?

Why do people always give importance to external beauty but applicable only for women? If women are to be beautiful and men are not be macho, then why aren't all the male actors macho men? I WANT ANSWERS.

All these irk me and deeply and unfortunately this trend is been followed in real life too. I wish people start accepting the fact that external beauty is not important. Someone please stop this nonsense and bring to light that looks doesn't matter, be it for a man or a woman. Or atleast correct me if I am wrong. 

Love failures...

We grew up hearing this term 'Love Failure' both in movies and in real life, with pun intended and sometimes otherwise. When someone grows a beard, or keeps a stubble, drinks more than usual, stays off grid or does not plan to date someone or get married, we hear this phrase floating around. I've asked people, have also been bombarded with the same question at various instances. 'Love failure' happens one breaks up with his/her girlfriend/boyfriend, never gets to be with the one they love. But now, I wonder why we call it 'love failure'.

Does love actually fail? NO! Love never fails. It's people who fail - to express their feelings; to understand; to hold on to the one they love; to let their love go; to love unconditionally; to stop expecting more than what the other could ever give; and finally, to fall for the wrong one. 

 Love is such an unexplainable feeling that can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. To keep it live is our responsibility. There's no fake love, its people who fake; love is true, ALWAYS. We fail at making choices and decisions, so why blaming it on love? :-)

Love never fails. People do, miserably, dispiritedly and  terribly. So call it a break up or something of your choice, but never 'love failure'!

And yes, people don't get married, or stay single, or grow beard or get drunk for various other reasons. Like, for instance, a beard/stubble is the hottest thing men can ever have, and getting drunk makes one feel lighter ! 

He and She - Their tale

(Pre-script : Not for 'matured' people)


She unwittingly flashed her pallid skin, which caught his attention on her. And as he started staring at her, the skin suddenly became transparent; he could see the flesh and later the soul underneath. It was in the most tragical shape - scarred, bruised and torn all over. Traumatized, he stood there for a minute, and as soon as he got back to his senses, calmly approached her. She, as normal as anyone can ever appear, looked at him surprisingly. Another closer look, she found the curative with him, that could possibly extricate her soul. Silence built up, followed by smiles and then laughter.
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She loves talking to him. About everything under the sun. And to be naughty at times, and blabber like a kid - only to him. And mostly, she leaves notes - on his table, inside his diary, above the television, under his pillow. Tissue papers, napkins, newspapers - everything serves the purpose. And he, gives her a chocolate every time they meet - the next thing she loves the most, after him. He reads the notes, never questions the material that has been used, says nothing and keeps them safe. And she, gives him a piece of chocolate, eats the rest and saves the wrappers. Never ask them why, they wouldn't tell you, coz they wouldn't really have a reason. Though, they ask each other, every other day, couple of times, pull each other's legs, call 'cheesy' and smile at the end. They both know, this would be the cheesiest thing they would have ever done, but, all that matters to him is her beautifully framed words, and to her, those unsaid words behind the chocolates.
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Something or the other would drive him crazy, every now and then. He would walk around the room like a mad man. She would follow him, ask him what's wrong. He would shout at her; she would listen, without saying anything, with a smile on her face and heart instead. And then, she would go stand next to him, hold his hand first and would give him a hug from behind. She would then tell him, 'everything's gonna be alright'. He would lose his temper, throw her arms away from his shoulders, turn around and shout all over again. He would then say, ' Leave me alone; I don't want this; in fact, I'm not interested at all! I don't need you here; just leave!' She would stay there stunned for a second, eyes filled and without saying a word, would walk past him. She wouldn't know what had actually happened to him - them, and why she had been deserted; tears would roll down and she would let herself cry her heart out like never before. The next day, she would leave a note on his table, telling him her condition. And later, he would come to her, say sorry and hand over a bar of chocolate or two she was craving for, the past whole weekend. A smile on his face, and one on hers... Something would remain unsaid, yet understood - 'I'd never let you fall'; 'I'd never let you go'
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He cares - She knows. She matters - she knows. He loves - She knows. Everything is surreal. She picked a flower, started plucking the petals and said to herself - 'He loves me', and then a smile; 'He loves me not' takes a deep breath and continues. One by one, the petals fell on the ground and whenever the last petal says 'loves me not' she picks another and the massacre continues. No doubt on his love; she just loves to be cheesy sometimes, to keep that surreal feeling going, and he joins her too; they love to be crazy!
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She loses her mind sometimes... he does, too... And when they both lose their minds together, destruction follows. Glasses, plates, beer bottles... these would be flying inside the room. And if something doesn't break, she picks it up, bangs it on the floor all over again, until it is shattered into pieces. And then, the first person who started it off, takes a break and cools down, followed by the other. Silence, a smile right after and the cleaning up starts. She cries for breaking his favorite coffee mug, he gives her that tough look and the tears dries off. The next day, everything will be replaced, and they make sure, they have bought something that is not unbreakable.
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'17!' She counts the number of grey hair on her head and suddenly runs towards him and checks all over his head to find if he has any. '5? Arrgrhhh' she screams... He smiles at her. Next day, comes home with a salt n pepper look. She looks amused, goes near him, catches his wrist and plays with it like a shy kid. And then tells him, 'Salt n pepper... Is so frigging hot' and winks. He smiles, gives her a branded hair dye pack and winks back. ;) ;) ;) Too many winks all together, followed by laughter.
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He loves flowers - only in the garden, alive. But, she loves receiving them, as gift, once in a while. Not necessarily roses; her favorites are carnations and gerbera.Sometimes, only sometimes, he comes home with a bunch of pink carnations, or yellow gerberas or even roses - the red ones. Or whichever color  he finds at the florist, he takes them home, gives one to her, keeps the rest in a flower vase. She takes that single flower and keeps it in another vase with dry flowers - those he had gifted earlier just like the one she has with her now.
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Weekends, off days, Wednesday mornings, Monday nights - Whenever they can, they drink together. And she doesn't have a personal favorite; she drinks whatever he chooses to drink. A peg or two can get her high, and horny sometimes. Her naughtiness crosses the limits certain times. But, he tolerates it all; in fact enjoys the way she behaves when she's sloshed. Sometimes, she gets emotional too. She cries over breaking his favorite coffee mug the last time they fought. Or how the kitten next door got stolen. Or why she denied to give his lil brother that T-shirt he asked for. She cries out loud, like how a kid cries over his broken toy. Sometimes she lies on his shoulder and tells him, 'I'm not beautiful; nor perfect' 'no one is', he interrupts.  'Shhhhhh'. She cuts him and continues, 'So, I'm not beautiful nor perfect. But the feeling I've for you is the best you can ever get. I love you and will always do, I know you love me too, but not as much as I do.  And I'm never gonna leave you, don't you dare think even once about leaving me.' Looks into his eyes for a while, and asks disappointed, 'You also think I'm not beautiful?' pauses and before he could tell something, dozes off. And he knows, whatever she says wasn't out of the influence of alcohol. He caresses her face, kisses her forehead and dozes off too. 
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She's extremely romantic; he's not. He's hard working; she's laid back. She would die for pizza; he prefers Salads. He's a learner; she's absent minded. Anything can get her high; it takes 8 pegs to get him there. He's practical; she's into fantasy.He's very particular about things; she doesn't even understand what that means. They've nothing in common - except for a smile. They both love being happy; moreover, they back each other up when things go wrong. 'Coz their smiles depend on each other.
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Sometimes, amidst piles of work, she takes a break and lets her thoughts wander. They reach to a single point all the time and that's him. She keeps wondering about how once-a-total-stranger became the most important part of her life; how his absence haunts her; how uneasy life becomes when he is not around; how lonely she feels even amongst her best of friends when she misses him; how this one random stranger could turn her part of world upside down and leave her breathless. Certain thoughts about him make her want to slap him right on his face, but she could control it all considering how well he treats her, certain other times. His transformation from a stranger to a friend, then to the best friend and finally to her love interest is indeed the best thing happened to her and that very thought makes her smile, at the end of the thought process. 
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The most intriguing thing about her that haunted him was not the way she looked with those artificiality on her face, or how casually she smiled at a stranger, but how effortlessly she could pick the pieces of her heart each time it broke, and fix it, like nothing could ever destroy her.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During one of his most vulnerable moments, as she hugged him tight without asking what went wrong, he asked, 'Why do you love me so much? No one did, when I badly wanted to be loved. May be I don't need it anymore. Please don't make things hard for me'.... She gently stroked his forehead and replied, 'I know how it  feels to be unloved!'
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And a cigarette butt...

"Destiny is what you choose" is an overrated statement. You don't necessarily get what you choose; you don't always become what you want to be. A cigarette 'butt' never chose to be a 'butt'. It never wants to be thrown away nor does it love to be smashed and torn. Once highly-demanded cigarette is destined to become ashes and 'butt' that ends up in the soil. It never chose its unfortunate destiny. No one ever wants to store a useless cigarette butt. But, she did; though a non-smoker she is, she saved it as if her life was in turn preserved inside it. It followed her wherever she went. There was an unknown, unseen bond between her and that cigarette butt. That butt which carried a unique odor that only she could recognize - the odor of her man.

Every time she meets him, she collects a cigarette butt and replaces the old one. All she wanted was the fresh odor - of her man. Each replacement would be a compassionate farewell. Flower bouquets, funerals and goodbyes - the cigarette butts had peaceful deaths.

5 replacements down. She waited for the next replacement.

Weeks passed by. Months and then years. The last cigarette butt hasn't been replaced yet. The butt wore off, so did she. Their companionship has now become a wait for the replacement. The odor has all gone now. The left over was just a recall to the past. They both waited - the cigarette butt for a peaceful death and the lady, for the same.

Never did the cigarette butt know that it wouldn't ever be replaced. Nor did she realise that she, the one who treated the cigarette butts he left as how she would treat him, for him, was just a cigarette butt.

Their lives halted and his moved on with so many cigarette butts smashed in the soil.

What the society thinks unmarried women do and what we actually do!

Our society (read Indian) works such a way that one needs to run his/her life according to its preset rules. It decides when you should - start dating, get married, have sex, have babies- the list goes on. It doesn't just end up with when's... Don't take me wrong, the society not just interferes in your relationship maamla alone...  There are who's, what's why's, where's and how's too... Like, who your friends be, who your friends' parents be, who you should be with, what you should be doing with your life, where you should be working, where your parents should be,  how your life has to be and most importantly, why you should be like everyone else and lead a stereotypical life. It gets tougher each and every year because a digit gets added to your age every year. And if you dare not  to follow the rules, you are anti-social; you need help coz you are a psychotic! 

I know, men might have their own worries on those lines, but here, I wanna let out my share of frustration, being a woman surviving in this society. The laws say u can get married at the age of 18. But the society has kept a cut off of 22 which has now thankfully been raised to 25 (forcefully). That's the only  good thing society gave women. But, if u don't get hitched by that age, you are gonna face severe consequences. 

A woman past 25, unmarried and single...  If she is being nice to people that's to get attention. If she smiles at you, that's a hint... If she comes home late or goes for parties, she was getting laid. If she talks loud or defends herself, she definitely has someone to protect her - a married, rich, powerful man. If she earns more than your son does, she is a hooker. If she gets appreciation at work, she has been sleeping with her boss. And the best of all - She has not gotten any guy obviously and hence she is horny, easily available and can be hit on anytime with hardly any pickup lines. If she has male friends, she is horny, easily available and a slut too. If those male friends are married, then, she is horny, easily available, a sluts and a vamp too.

If a woman is single, that's because she chose her life to be that way; she hasn't found the man who she thinks could be compatible with her. If she decides not to get married, she has left her life free from getting fucked. If you believe that a woman's life gets a meaning only wen she could surrender herself to some man, live according to his will and satisfy his desires, that's your bloody problem and I think the mentioned situation is  the worst that can happen to any human being. She does think about sex like everyone else, but that doesn't mean she is horny and any Tom or Harry's dick can get her. If you give her that seductive look or touch her the way you shouldn't,and she still doesn't react, that's only because she didn't know it was your hint to get her laid !!! 

If you preach us that one needs someone to take care of him/her for the rest of their lives, then  I would want to mention the number of divorces that's been increasing each  year; Children no longer take care of their parents, coz they don't have time to,so i'd like to mention the increase in the number of home nurses and old-age homes too. 

We may have male friends, they might be married but  you should know that we would be friends with their spouses too. Stop giving us that 'you are a vamp' look. We are NOT horny and are not looking for someone or the other to 'do' it. You need to know that you are making things tough for us. Stop making us feel so insecure whenever we are up to something or interact with men! 

Listen up people! Please give us a break!  Once and for all... We have a fucking life  too! SO please stop assuming! 

That fear!

There would be days when you feel so low but wouldn't know why that's for. You would really want to talk to someone or cry out loud, but cannot for the same reason - you have no clue what all those are for!

There would be times when no matter how cold you become, the 'emotional' you comes out for no particular reason. You would sit idle wondering what's wrong. You would think, think and re-think on what would have gone wrong, but still wouldn't get an idea. You would end up concluding on something, but that may not be the actual reason.

There would be moments when you realize you have gotten closer to someone, and feel an emotional attachment with that person, when you have deliberately stopped yourself from doing it. You would realize certain things are not under your control and certain people are so good that you cannot stop yourself from being with them. All these would happen when you have forcefully learnt to live on your own, with no one around, or in the absence of the most loved person. You might be all cool with everything, but this one person would have managed to get you out of that comfort zone, knowingly or unknowingly. You would ask yourself what's happening with you, why can't you act cold or rude here, why did this certain someone become one major priority, and you would never have an answer.

All these would drive you nuts, especially when the other is unaware what's going inside your head. You would crave for an opportunity where you can tell yourself this person doesn't mean anything to you, but miserably fail. You would do everything to get back to the cold person that you were, but would fail again.

You would think too much and start panicking. You would be afraid of losing this person or getting hurt all over again. You would keep asking yourself lots of why's, when's, how's and what's, but would never get an answer. This would be something you always wanted to avoid, but then, you would witness it happening to you with no prior notification You would do all possible things to keep away from this person, but you would know, you have ended up thinking more than usual.

May be, the only solution for all these would be, getting hurt all over again, which would mold you to an even stronger person. 

The problem is....

Every time, every single time, us, not all of us, but, most of us keep cribbing how unfair life is to us. Though we all know there are people who suffer more than we do, we just ignore that and keep sulking. And with all that luxury we have, which by no means our sweat but provided by our parents (Indians you see!) we crib for a break up, a fight with a friend, being jobless etc etc. (Well, I do that, quite a lot.) And all these cannot be solved! Whaaaaaaaaaa!

When I whine about the 24*7  pain I am going through and stop myself from doing work or couple of things saying that would hurt me further, I see people doing the same with the same problem, for a living. Coz they don't have the luxury as I do. I feel so bad, you know!

And then, a lot among us who are struggling and have reached somewhere from no where and are still struggling with a smile on their faces. Coz they wanna fight it over, they don't have time for bullshit. We respect them, but have we ever tried to be like them? NO! If we did, life would have been way better!

I'm not saying we should compare our problems with others, everyone's got their bit of crap to deal with, but then, how we deal it matters. Sitting and crying never helps. Fight it out. Win over! Live life to the fullest! I think I have started following that rule, and I know how amazing it is! May be, we all can  try that out and feel a less miserable! :-)