Love - A Second Time (Part 1)

 Dear D,

I love you. 

Of course, you know. You have always known that I could never get over you. 

A love that lasted over 15 years, even after knowing that the love is never reciprocated. 

But love is love. It has no beginning or end. It happens organically; before we know it, we are in love.

I vividly remember the day we first met. A conversation that went for how many hours, I can't recollect. An instant connection that I thought would probably last for a lifetime. It did, I won't deny, but maybe not the way I always wanted it to be. 

Your gorgeously luminous smile stole my heart the moment it flashed across my face. That was it. That smile was what I wanted to wake up to, every damn day. Charm oozed out of your personality that I couldn't resist it coming over to me. I wonder why I didn't lean toward you to kiss you softly, gently and passionately. Maybe because I was too afraid that you wouldn't reciprocate, breaking my heart into a million shards. 

And I was right. You never reciprocated. You called it friendship when I tried labelling it love. You never pushed me away, and that was more painful than the other way around.

I am a seeker, I seek love from every nook and corner. You were the nook I landed upon and never wanted to leave. 

But you chose someone else. I was happy for you, and a tad bit jealous of your partner. They got everything I wanted - your love, care, affection, intimacy and more. 

And then I thought I have moved on. Many faces, many kinds of love came my way. I took it all, enjoyed them all, and left them behind because no love was as precious as my love for you. 

But, I honestly thought I am over you. Until you flashed that goddamn smile of yours, all over again, at me, 15 years later, sweeping me off the floor, a second time. 

Love is unkind, mischievous and truly hurtful. Otherwise, why would I have fallen for someone who's unattainable? 

Unrequited love is the worst. It sweeps you over, only to break you into pieces that can never be fixed. And I became a victim of that unforbidden love. 

(to be continued)