My naive and shy mother found it embarrassing to talk about the monthly occurrence of blood in your panties and when I found something dark and ugly while passing urine on the said day, I thought it was some malignancy and I was going to die. When I informed my mother, what she did was inform my aunts and relatives and make me sit on a corner. My brave aunt came to me and told me that now I have attained 'maturity' and I am girl now. Well, I always thought I was a girl and maturity is something I haven't attained even today, so I couldn't relate to what she was saying.
I was told I should sit in my room and should not walk around and they will provide me with food and everything I needed on time, but for someone who was hyperactive, that was a bit too much. But this feeling of dejection didn't last for long as women in the family started coming in and flooded me with gifts ranging from clothes to gold. I was elated. GOLD! FOR SEEING BLOOD IN YOUR PEE!
Anyway, this went on for a week and then finally I was free to move around. A lot of things about me changed - I was asked to behave like a girl time and again when I went on doing mischievous activities that I always did. The worst part was, I wasn't aware of what was in store. I didn't know this seeing blood would be a monthly ritual and it is going to affect my freedom!
My mother, sister and I used to sleep in the same room with two beds - one queen size and a single bed attached. Every month when I see blood, my mom made sure that I do not step out of the bathroom without bathing or washing my clothes. She would separate the single bed and I will have to sleep on it for the next 4 days. Every morning, I need to get and take shower and wash clothes before stepping out of the room. And the 4th day, I had to wash the bedsheet too. This was not really a herculean task, but for someone who had either a maid or a washing machine to wash clothes, this seemed alien. Another thing to note is that, on these 4 days, I was not supposed to touch clothes, open any cupboard, go near the pooja room or lay on my bed unless it is night. If I accidentally touched the bed, I had to take a shower again!
For years this was the routine, and the ritual started getting on my nerves. I wanted to know what would happen if I touch something, no one had a specific answer - "you can't touch it, it will lose its purity" that's the answer I got and I was never convinced. If I had to get out of the bathroom, someone had to help me with getting clothes out of my cupboard and if no one was around, I was screwed!
Years went by, the teenager in me grew up to be a rebel and I started reacting, instead of questioning. I would open my cupboard, or touch things if I had to, because convenience! My mom just could not take this and we started fighting over things. But eventually, she gave in. Today, there is no 'untouchability' related to menstruation in the house, except I won't enter the pooja room only because I don't want to offend my parents.
This experience is not something traumatic, but the taboo associated with menstruation still exist in our society and a lot of women still find it difficult to live by. I remember praying for not getting menstruation (I think God listens to atheists and agnostics - I got PCOD) because as a child, the taboo was more painful than the cramps and mood swings. I really hope, slowly but steadily women in the household would understand that menstruation is never a taboo and it has nothing to do with impurity. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be alienated about. Menstruation is nothing more than a biological process.
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