I mean, ofcourse, there have been multiple instances where I have yearned for certain people and wished to be their something, but then, as I grow older and quite wiser, I feel I was never in love with them.
I was in love with the idea of love. Even the slightest of attention, or even a smile towards me made me feel special, and that, I realise, was because I have never really felt special ever in life.
And do you know why? Because I never thought I was special, to begin with, and the burdened others with expectations, it was too much for them to take.
It took me a while, but atleast now, I mean close to 40, I get this epiphany that the special feeling I have always yearned for, should come from within. Ofcourse, that doesn't mean to be on a narcissistic or selfish level, but close to reality - accepting self as who I am and getting better each day for self and others.
Pretty straight forward, ain't it? 🥹
Ok, I am blabbering. Bye.
