Gardener

One of the many things I had in my bucket list of "when-I-become-a-homemaker" was to maintain a garden. 

My parents and grandmother tried to maintain a small yet beautiful garden in front of our house, which, was too overwhelmingly adorned with flowering plants and a small lawn when we initially moved in. Eventually the lawn dried up, too many changes were made, including the addition of a small well, demolition of the tiny concrete partition that surrounded the garden, teak and mango emerging into fully-grown trees, tiling to keep up with the modern times and a stone-bench. The garden area shrunk, but some plants did manage to thrive. 

I have memories of watering the plants, initially due to enthusiasm, eventually due to parental pressure. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the maintaining part as much as I enjoyed the visual. 

When I moved to Cochin, there was a point where I had a tiny balcony all for myself. Once, after work, my colleague and I stumbled upon a plant nursery on our way back home and instantly decided to buy some plants. I bought a marigold plant, a rose and a couple of small flowering shrubs. I had a couple of golden fish too adorning the room, so suddenly a sense of responsibility rushed into me. And a friend added "if you can manage to take care of plants and pets, you are ready to be a wife". I still do not understand the connection, but I clearly failed. 🥲 Neither the plants nor the fish survived much. 

My parents had moved to an apartment building by then with little to no room for a garden. Eventhough I had this strong urge to build a terrace garden, that dream shattered when the owner of the building decided to roof it all up. My parents were quite certain, how long it would have lasted; I defended myself a little and then gave up, because I knew they were right. 

Anyway, I don't know if it's because of my constant taunting and cribbing, every now and then, my father comes home with a new shrub. And, he plants and maintains them himself. All I do is enjoy the beauty. That's all I am capable of, or pretend to be capable of. 

I still dream of having a house with lots of plants surrounding me, only flowers, not the green stuff my plant-obsessed friends are crazy about. Maybe, that's how I want to add some colours to my life. To believe that it's beautiful and worth living for. However, I am still not certain how much I would be invested, but one can always dream.