More than a week since she passed away, Jiah Khan still fills in the newspaper columns and now here boyfriend too, I would want to take her case as an example for why one has to live. She should be considered a closed chapter I agree, but discussing about it can help people who are blinded in love is what I believe. We all go through this phase where we are blinded by that notion called 'love' where we tend to do anything, live and die for one person who might turn out to be the wrong choice through course of time.
But then, at one point we need to realise, life is far more than the fantasies and fairy tales and B-town movies, life doesn't deserve to be ill treated, and once that's been realised, one learn to LIVE and respect life. One's life shouldn't revolve around someone else, we have lived before that one person and should learn to live without at some point however hard it be - that's the ultimate point.
"We all fall for the wrong guy/girl at some point in our life — some more wrong than others — but most of us find a way to fall right out. Romance is perhaps the most dangerous delusion, especially for young girls who are raised on a steady diet of fairytales, Bollywood movies and romance novels that valourise the all-consuming love affair, teach girls to hold out for Mr Right, wait for their 'one true love.' But in real life, Prince Charming often turns out to be the villain, or at least an uncommitted cad. And greater a young girl’s need for grand passion, the more likely she is to attract a parade of Mr Wrongs who exploit that yearning. Women who live to love as opposed to love to live are doomed to unhappiness." (Copied) And that's one major lesson for life.
Friends, family, love, education, knowledge, books, movies and society - everything does make an impact on a person, agree, but I would say, that's not the ultimate reason for why you are what you are. No one else can control your thought process or decisions, but yourself. If I decide to do something, how would that be the result of what the society or family had fed me? Being a human, being an individual, don't I have the sense or logic or reasonable thinking process to choose between right and wrong? Of course, right and wrong are concepts and it varies from person to person, but living your life is the right thing to do, not killing oneself and that's one universal fact. In Jiah's case, what I don't understand is, if the mother and her family knew about this guy and have seen him torturing her, then why didnt they take the case to the police or take necessary actions, instead of blaming the guy or his father, for that matter! Wonder who has to be blamed here!
Girls often get carried away by false hopes and faked or sometimes unrequited love, being a girl I can say it better. But does that always mean the guy has to be blamed? From my personal experience, I can say, I've gone both - how fake love affected me and how torturing I was in an unrequited love scene!
When a girl acts irrational and insane because she never got back at least a portion of the love she gave, no one really stops to listen to what the guy has to say. He might have tried, but not as much as she expected; he might have been practical unlike her. Girls generally act dumb when blinded in love, play the insecure, possessive, sensitive, emotional, bugging kinds, making the guy go nuts and vulnerable leading him to call it off. I am not saying this is what happens always, but this is one of those cases. Girls in love can mostly be the most dangerous and guys tend to escape from what's been happening to him... May be, she might have led him behave like 'this does not matter to me any longer' or may be he's the one who is actually wrong. But without knowing what's actually happened, no one can blame him for whatever he has done. (been there done that :D)
Take this is an experienced person talking, that love is not all. Treat it as a part of life, not a reason to live. One need love to survive, true that, and that love doesn't generally mean romantic; it can be what you share with parents, siblings or friends... Killing oneself is never a solution no matter what one is going through. And the day one accepts it and decide to live the life with no delusion that one need romance to survive, life turns out to be the best thing that can ever happen.
Lastly, killing oneself doesn't prove how much you love someone. If you really love someone, you shouldn't do anything that would affect him all through his life... If you consider it as revenge, then again, the best revenge is to LIVE better and show him that you are fine without him!
With all respects to Jiah Khan, and as I am no one to say what she did was right or wrong, I find her case as an eye opener to most of us out here, and learn from what she has gone through, because learning from others' experience is better than going through the same to learn; may her soul rest in peace!
But then, at one point we need to realise, life is far more than the fantasies and fairy tales and B-town movies, life doesn't deserve to be ill treated, and once that's been realised, one learn to LIVE and respect life. One's life shouldn't revolve around someone else, we have lived before that one person and should learn to live without at some point however hard it be - that's the ultimate point.
"We all fall for the wrong guy/girl at some point in our life — some more wrong than others — but most of us find a way to fall right out. Romance is perhaps the most dangerous delusion, especially for young girls who are raised on a steady diet of fairytales, Bollywood movies and romance novels that valourise the all-consuming love affair, teach girls to hold out for Mr Right, wait for their 'one true love.' But in real life, Prince Charming often turns out to be the villain, or at least an uncommitted cad. And greater a young girl’s need for grand passion, the more likely she is to attract a parade of Mr Wrongs who exploit that yearning. Women who live to love as opposed to love to live are doomed to unhappiness." (Copied) And that's one major lesson for life.
Friends, family, love, education, knowledge, books, movies and society - everything does make an impact on a person, agree, but I would say, that's not the ultimate reason for why you are what you are. No one else can control your thought process or decisions, but yourself. If I decide to do something, how would that be the result of what the society or family had fed me? Being a human, being an individual, don't I have the sense or logic or reasonable thinking process to choose between right and wrong? Of course, right and wrong are concepts and it varies from person to person, but living your life is the right thing to do, not killing oneself and that's one universal fact. In Jiah's case, what I don't understand is, if the mother and her family knew about this guy and have seen him torturing her, then why didnt they take the case to the police or take necessary actions, instead of blaming the guy or his father, for that matter! Wonder who has to be blamed here!
Girls often get carried away by false hopes and faked or sometimes unrequited love, being a girl I can say it better. But does that always mean the guy has to be blamed? From my personal experience, I can say, I've gone both - how fake love affected me and how torturing I was in an unrequited love scene!
When a girl acts irrational and insane because she never got back at least a portion of the love she gave, no one really stops to listen to what the guy has to say. He might have tried, but not as much as she expected; he might have been practical unlike her. Girls generally act dumb when blinded in love, play the insecure, possessive, sensitive, emotional, bugging kinds, making the guy go nuts and vulnerable leading him to call it off. I am not saying this is what happens always, but this is one of those cases. Girls in love can mostly be the most dangerous and guys tend to escape from what's been happening to him... May be, she might have led him behave like 'this does not matter to me any longer' or may be he's the one who is actually wrong. But without knowing what's actually happened, no one can blame him for whatever he has done. (been there done that :D)
Take this is an experienced person talking, that love is not all. Treat it as a part of life, not a reason to live. One need love to survive, true that, and that love doesn't generally mean romantic; it can be what you share with parents, siblings or friends... Killing oneself is never a solution no matter what one is going through. And the day one accepts it and decide to live the life with no delusion that one need romance to survive, life turns out to be the best thing that can ever happen.
Lastly, killing oneself doesn't prove how much you love someone. If you really love someone, you shouldn't do anything that would affect him all through his life... If you consider it as revenge, then again, the best revenge is to LIVE better and show him that you are fine without him!
With all respects to Jiah Khan, and as I am no one to say what she did was right or wrong, I find her case as an eye opener to most of us out here, and learn from what she has gone through, because learning from others' experience is better than going through the same to learn; may her soul rest in peace!
Devi chechi.... whatever u have scribbled here, is an answer for my question... anyways, thank u so much... and keep writing :)
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