Sweet Tooth

I can still feel the taste of Saccharine in my mouth. From the small bite I took from a laddu that's been lying around at home. All thanks to my sibling who believes these enormous Saccharine filled delicacies could help our mom tackle the occasional low blood sugar episodes. Despite telling multiple times that, that's not exactly the right way to face the situation. 

Anyway, these sweets often become a hindrance to my always-on-no-sugar-diet. 

Even though my mother tells me that I was a relatively thin child, my memory of myself has always been that of my chubby phase. I have always identified myself as a fat person and nothing really could help me get rid of that image. 

I vividly remember deciding to lose weight when I was in 7th grade, even in my late 30s, I find it difficult to stick to that plan. The main culprit being my never ending love for sweets. 

The problem is I just can't stop with one bite. When the sensation of sugar  hits my tongue, I become something I am not. I'd pull that box of sweets and gobble up an entire box! No, I am not exaggerating. I have the record of eating 10 laddus in one go! And I don't even feel high. All I end up thinking is I NEED MORE! 

And this is one of the main reasons why I look the way I am - obese as per BMI scale. Apart from overeating everything else, ofcourse. 

A couple of years ago, I went on a no-sugar diet. After 60days, I went on a binge. And then I decided to keep one cheat day a week, but ended up gobbling all the calories I missed that entire week. And finally, I realised, may be, sugar and I can co-exist without hurting each other. 

Here I am. Still reminiscencing that one bite a took a few hours ago, and telling myself every other minute "this taste too shall pass".