Kochu Kochu Santhoshangal!

So, in the previous blog, I had mentioned that my father is a patriarch. Well, I won't blame him entirely for that. I mean, I don't think it is fair to judge a 70+ year old man holding on to certain ideologies in a society where it is the norm. In his book, man is the provider, woman, homemaker. However, even being a strong patriarch back in the day, he didn't consider us (my sister and I) as burdens, gave us the best of education and everything that was possible. He also taught us to value money and stay grounded, and even when we get married, he assured us that, if things go wrong, he was there for us. Ofcourse, his ideologies and mine didn't match in various matters - one of the main reasons why we would end up arguing.

He was also a very short tempered man, I used to dread going near him as a child, because I didn't want to get beaten up for trivial things.

But over the years, I have noticed that he stays calm when he isn't occupied. A

So, basically, his job was keeping him stressed, and he would throw tantrums at everyone around him. That gave me the idea on how to deal with him. 

Also, I learnt to accept my parents the way they are. Only trying to change them by imparting knowledge calmly, without arguments. This trick worked! By then I started working on myself too, with mindfulness and therapy, so that I could control my emotions as well. That also worked in our favour! 

And one last thing, that kid in the neighbourhood, also brought the grandfatherly affection in my father, making him less angry, more cheerful. 

Today, I can make jokes on my father, call him "kelava" as and when I like, and talk to him peacefully. We share a beautiful bond now and things are so much better. Our relationship is getting better each day and I am so grateful to the universe. 

And I wish and hope this stays, forever. Touchwood. ♾️