Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Losing your senses, realizing but unable to help it

Sometimes, the feeling of being lost and lonely suffocates you so much that no matter how hard you try to get over it you come back to that particular point where you were in. You may try to be or act happy as  you always do, but that never shows coz the agony rules you more than anything else. Even the music, movies and playin with kids which kept you engaged n brought smile on your face may not do the needful. You just keep on whinin' to yourself unable to express your sob story to anyone as you know that's not gonna help you out.

You feel  like a born retard who has no clue what's happening around n y people dont give a damn about you. Years of loneliness n u gettin' used to it n then someone changes the whole scenario within a matter of seconds givin' you love, hope, care n everything you longed for, becomes your family, your best friend, brother, sister n everything n then disappears one fine morning leavin' you in trauma which is worser than how things used to be. You realize love n care was what you always wanted. And then, you tryin' to get over it, tryin' to find that love and care or rather that person in everyone you meet n end up in vein. Being a joker in front of everyone, with ur sob stories hopin atleast sum1 would understand your feelings, but then realizing that no one really appreciate the sadness in you, everyone wants FUN which sometimes you fail to provide.

Even after knowing you got hell lot of serious issues to deal with, but sometimes you  find this as the most serious one. And finally u yourself  choose to be alone which might appear dumb to others, but u feel you are better this way, tryin' to start over new, hiding all your sadness, not to get a nervous breakdown n show others that you are strong enough to face all these silly things with no one's help. But once in a while you feel lost n end up being the dumbest person on earth writing all the stupid things on your blog or some other social networking site which has no point at all to be shared.

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