There would be days when you feel so low but wouldn't know why that's for. You would really want to talk to someone or cry out loud, but cannot for the same reason - you have no clue what all those are for!
There would be times when no matter how cold you become, the 'emotional' you comes out for no particular reason. You would sit idle wondering what's wrong. You would think, think and re-think on what would have gone wrong, but still wouldn't get an idea. You would end up concluding on something, but that may not be the actual reason.
There would be moments when you realize you have gotten closer to someone, and feel an emotional attachment with that person, when you have deliberately stopped yourself from doing it. You would realize certain things are not under your control and certain people are so good that you cannot stop yourself from being with them. All these would happen when you have forcefully learnt to live on your own, with no one around, or in the absence of the most loved person. You might be all cool with everything, but this one person would have managed to get you out of that comfort zone, knowingly or unknowingly. You would ask yourself what's happening with you, why can't you act cold or rude here, why did this certain someone become one major priority, and you would never have an answer.
All these would drive you nuts, especially when the other is unaware what's going inside your head. You would crave for an opportunity where you can tell yourself this person doesn't mean anything to you, but miserably fail. You would do everything to get back to the cold person that you were, but would fail again.
You would think too much and start panicking. You would be afraid of losing this person or getting hurt all over again. You would keep asking yourself lots of why's, when's, how's and what's, but would never get an answer. This would be something you always wanted to avoid, but then, you would witness it happening to you with no prior notification You would do all possible things to keep away from this person, but you would know, you have ended up thinking more than usual.
May be, the only solution for all these would be, getting hurt all over again, which would mold you to an even stronger person.
There would be times when no matter how cold you become, the 'emotional' you comes out for no particular reason. You would sit idle wondering what's wrong. You would think, think and re-think on what would have gone wrong, but still wouldn't get an idea. You would end up concluding on something, but that may not be the actual reason.
There would be moments when you realize you have gotten closer to someone, and feel an emotional attachment with that person, when you have deliberately stopped yourself from doing it. You would realize certain things are not under your control and certain people are so good that you cannot stop yourself from being with them. All these would happen when you have forcefully learnt to live on your own, with no one around, or in the absence of the most loved person. You might be all cool with everything, but this one person would have managed to get you out of that comfort zone, knowingly or unknowingly. You would ask yourself what's happening with you, why can't you act cold or rude here, why did this certain someone become one major priority, and you would never have an answer.
All these would drive you nuts, especially when the other is unaware what's going inside your head. You would crave for an opportunity where you can tell yourself this person doesn't mean anything to you, but miserably fail. You would do everything to get back to the cold person that you were, but would fail again.
You would think too much and start panicking. You would be afraid of losing this person or getting hurt all over again. You would keep asking yourself lots of why's, when's, how's and what's, but would never get an answer. This would be something you always wanted to avoid, but then, you would witness it happening to you with no prior notification You would do all possible things to keep away from this person, but you would know, you have ended up thinking more than usual.
May be, the only solution for all these would be, getting hurt all over again, which would mold you to an even stronger person.
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